5 STEPS THAT KEEPS A RELATIONSHIP FRESH.by sir Rhema Hills

5 Tips for Keeping aRelationship Fresh Not everyone is looking for a long-term relationship , but most people who are in committed relationships are interested in keeping love alive for the duration. If everyone could afford regular romantic getaways 5: Mind Your Manners What's that old saying --"Familiarity breeds contempt"? This may be true for some, but more often, familiarity makes people take each other for granted. In his book, "The 100 Simple Secrets of Great Relationships," David Niven, PhD,says, "We define our relationships based not on the best days or the worst days but on the average days. Strive to besupportive in average ways on average days, and you will set in place a major building block of arelationship." Indeed, recent research shows that gratitude is associated with satisfaction and happiness in a relationship [source: Woznicki ]. One way to be supportive of your partner is to be grateful forthe things he or she does for you. Say "thank you" often and sincerely, and say it for even the most mundane things. Holding the door open, passing the sugarand picking up the dry cleaning are more obvious occasions, but what about when your partner cooks dinner or changes the baby's diaper? Be grateful even for the abstract things your partner does, like making you laugh when you're grouchy, remembering just how you like your coffee or putting on the perfect music to soothe your racing mind at the end of a long day. Challenge yourself by expressing gratitude even when you're in the middle of an argument. 4: Break Up the Routine Routine has its place in a busy life, but the danger is that the routine will become a rut, leading to boredom, laziness andsometimes to the case on the previous page, in which things are taken for granted and no one remembers to commit tiny acts of love or express gratitude. Part of the trick to overcoming routine is to plan ahead, and part of it is being spontaneous. You'll need to plan for a date with your partner: Make the dinner reservations, schedule thebabysitter and pick out your outfit. Even so, there are ways tointroduce something new into your plan. Try a new restaurant, wear a color you don't normally wear or undo one more button on that favorite top you always wear. Planning sex on a schedule can be either a boon or a hindrance to passion, so try making a date for sex, but also be open to finding ways to make sex happenif the mood strikes. If sex has become a lower priority, reprioritize! As Dr. Phil says, "Useit or lose it." Being open to inspiration is the key to spontaneity. 3: Learn to Argue Well Some couples may be afraid to argue, believing that it's a sign that they aren't compatible or fearing that the argument will bethe end of the relationship. Others use it as a prelude to passionate make-up sex . However, couples who know how to argue well find that it strengthens their connection witheach other, and a strong relationship is a safe space for airing differences. According to the experts, it's not the differences between partners that cause conflict, it's how they handle their differences [source: Polston and Golant ]. Here are some tips for arguing well: *. Learn to listen as well as express yourself. You may find that the whole argument stemmed from a simple misunderstanding, in which case you can move right on to the make-up sex. *. Respect your partner's beliefs and don't expect to change his or her mind. Your goal is to understand each other; you don't have to agree. *. Uncensored anger may be unproductive. If the intensity ofyour anger surprises even you, it might be best to take a few moments before you say anything. As freeing as it might feel to call your partner names and hurl expletives (or vases), you'll just put your partner on the defensive. *. Make it about finding a resolution for BOTH of you, not just one of you. If only oneof you wins, you both lose. Go for a win-win! (Warning: This means compromise.) 2: Maintain Outside Relationships A couple's relationship can be both complicated and enhanced by outside relationships. Not all outside relationships will fit well into a couple's life together. Some of them, like those with mothers-in-law, can't exactly be avoided, but others can, and they should be kept separate from the couple's relationship. 1: Grooming and Hygiene Remember at the beginning of your relationship when you always looked your best for each other, when not even a nose hairwas out of place? As time passes,it's hard to maintain the same attention to appearance as we did in the beginning, what with the baby spit-up, weekly housecleaning and gardening chores, and lazy Sundays. If yourrelationship has lost a little of its fizzle, take a good hard look at yourself in the mirror. Paying justa little extra attention to grooming and hygiene can make the idea of spontaneous sex a lotmore appealing. Gudluck my people. Sir Hillz